How to murder a vagina

Amanda Bynes tweet is really interesting because her life is now similar to VHS slasher movies.

The murder of her vagina is a come get me call for all psychopaths, and at this moment she is worried about all the strange men accumulating in her garden.

What is next? Hit and run my breasts?

Here's some suggestions for you Amanda as you sit in your bed quaking with fear, suggestions that is for tweets that you will send before you totally get yourself murderised bitch.

Hacksaw my anus

Wound my axe wound with your axe

Drill kill my Deep Throat

Snuff my slime snatch

Power Ball Poem for the unlucky winner

The Power ball win
The winner is under heat
People need their cash

They hammer the door
The power ball rolls along
It's weight is crushing

Like the scene when Jones
Runs from the giant boulder
The power ball rolls

Now there is nowhere
Accountants and criminals
The pressure too much

The winner explodes
The public fueled this death
Via a stealth tax

Susan Rummfit is fit

This antiques toad show babe looked freaking hot on TV today. I had to immediately google her trunk - what a collectible MILF!

I would collect her and she would give me Lovejoy.

How much?

10,000 to appear in Lusty Hoarder 3: Absolute Treasure.

MCR needed to go

Turns out MCR have broken up.

Bands breaking up is part o the developmental program for teenagers.

A band breaking up is like the breakup of a relationship between two people were are too young to know any better.

This is good news because although many fans of this band will be morning, and many may start slashing their wrists and posting pictures on Twitter, the breakup of this band will help them emotionally developed, and thus they will be ready to join the army I'm creating.

This army will invade North Korea

Kids Choice Awards to adults

Just watched some footage of the KCA awards.

Really liked the yellow and pink colour scheme they employed, custard and a pink colour combined to create a youth product.

What would have been really cool is if they had a paparazzi award, in which it a stupid gong is given to a journalist or photographer who has successfully annoyed a teenager -- who happens to also be an international superstar.

I think these awards ceremonies should have the audience submerged in a huge tank of gelatinous goo, just like in the TV game shows the children watched in the late 90s.

I think that these award shows for children could be employed on other award shows for children who are slightly older, like the Oscars which is an incredibly boring show full of annoying brats.

Cyprus is a dead dog

Cyprus is in a mess at the moment because the currency consists of money appropriate through criminal activities. As soon as 'the Europe' has problems, the criminals, like ticks or fleas on a dog that has just died, quickly jump ship.

Meanwhile the European community panics about this distressing turn of events in an already rambunctious cascade of catastrophic Euro cock outs, and frets about how it's all the German's fault.

As usual the criminals get away with it and the rest of Europe, or rather the 'tax payer' picks up the bill.

The Goonies (remake?)

I thoroughly enjoyed this film for the mousetrap style opening sequence with its intricate and over the top mechanisms as devised by the youngsters.

SLOTH was vaguely distressing, the way his ears twitched, always sent a chill up my spine.

Perhaps the Goonies advocated respect for people with disabilities because this mentally and physically deformed character shows the greatest heroism in the movie.

Could a remake of this film ever be made? I feel that today's youth are too attached to the cyber/digital sphere, whereas the Goonies is firmly rooted in an organic, physical form of child adventure.

In a way the Goonies is a retarded, perverted version of Pirates of the Caribbean, with its tones of treasure, Pirates, and nefarious but inadequate villains.

The truffle shuffle could do with being mixed up with gang man style or the Harlem shuffle, sorry the Harlem Shake.

If the modern Goonies were to exist it would have hipsters, who are at odds but ultimately learn to deal and work in tandem with the Internet geeks/nerds. It is for this reason that I believe meme culture is most closely associated to the spirit of the Goonies.

Sloth - played by the classic actor Nosferatu